Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Linda: Homeward Bound - My 13

Homeward Bound


5 months. Our homeward journey begins in less than 24 hours, and I pause, in closure. Closure? The days here have come to a close, but the lessons learned, the insights, the kindness and love received and given, these will reverberate. When one is blessed with a journey such as this, one which is not just an “architectural tour”, but where one has had glimpses into the hearts, minds, and souls of a people and yourself, there are two reactions when returning. The first is to file it away, like photos in a photo album that one seldom opens, happy memories whose details blur and fade with time. The second, harder way is to assimilate those pictures and those stories, the people and the ideas. I return, happily, to my world rich in family, friends, work, and the beautiful forests, streams, and wildlife that surround our homes. I return home to happy sounds and loving arms. Yet, I must take what I have seen and learned and bring it home, too. And if one learns to take what is in one’s mind and put it in one’s heart and in one’s actions, then those truths and insights will not only be lost, but will grow and expand, reaching into new waters like a stone thrown into a lake.

In my interviews with the Rinpoches whose lectures I attended (a Rinpoche is an incarnation of a previous lama), both immediately gave advice about how to hold onto the special things that life brings you. Chamtrul Lobsang Gyatso Rinpoche (whom I hope will come to Bloomington) was the most detailed. He said, “During the teaching time, one finds a special essence, a taste in your heart. Do not lose that and don’t forget it. With vigilance, remember again and again what the key points are. Remember what is easiest to understand. You will not be able to remember everything, but you can remember what was special. Remember. Again and again. Once a week. Once a month. Check on yourself, sit, and remember. This will help you to develop. If you do not check and take time to remember, you will have a positive imprint, but it might not be strong enough to help you develop and it can disappear. If you remember, you will increase your understanding and will develop spiritually.”

The key points to the teachings are many, though I will write one little story. I was walking down the mountain one morning, on the way to a lecture in the town below. We had a tremendous storm the night before, and the streets were not only wet, but, in some places, covered in a layer of slippery clay. As I walked, I saw a woman walking with a large jar of water on her head. Her eyes were downcast and she was totally concentrated on the task of walking without falling or spilling her precious water. And I thought, “I need to pray like that, with that single-mindedness. And … I can do that here, and now.” It’s those kinds of lessons that are the most precious.

And what will I take home from all the other lessons of this amazing country? (This is a definitely stream of consciousness.)

The cows here are quite different, and look at you with a knowing eye.
One can live very well on three sets of clothing.
A warm bucket bath is better than a cold shower.
Though I loved every part of India for different reasons, my heart is in the foothills of the
Himalayas.
I love traveling with my daughter. Mothers, if you ever have a chance to travel
with your daughter – do it. Fathers, if you ever have a chance to travel
with your son – do it. I loved traveling with the whole family, too.
Someday, I hope to travel with my son. (My husband is, thankfully, a given.)
I was quite jealous of reading about a nun who spent 12 years in a cave.
There are wonderful, wonderful people everywhere – ordinary people, educated people,
enlightened people. You just have to look, for they are open-hearted and generous.
If you look, you will find them.
You find what you are looking for – so be careful what you are looking for. You can
waste a lot of time doing things that, in fact, don’t make you truly happy
and “alive”.
It is amazing what people can carry on their heads.
It is amazing how many people can fit on a motorcycle.
One can see your loved ones in perfect strangers, and feel comforted by that.
It’s really good to have someone watching your back, seeing the subtleties of a
situation when you are busy bargaining or arranging. Eleanor is
quite good at this (though when she is with me, she has a surprisingly
bad sense of direction).
Knowing martial arts is an enormous help – not that we needed it directly. It gives you
a “presence” that helped. But you still have to aware!
In coming back to Chennai, I really realized how comfortable I am in India and how much I’ve become a part of her.
I no longer look at the jumble of streets, shops, buying, selling, begging, etc. with
a little trepidation, but have come, somehow, to embrace it all.
That there is incredible poverty, need, suffering, disease. And yet, the amount
of suffering one feels is determined by one’s attitude. We have the key
to happiness, no matter what our condition – which is not to underestimate
the difficulty of the situation and that sometimes there is no way out of
that situation.
I love how people here aren’t afraid to show who they are and what they think. They
show it with the clothes they wear, the jewelry, the way they walk, and the way
they talk. Instead of hiding behind a politeness, they are open – and therefore
incredibly accepting.
There are a lot of dogs in India … and very few cats.
If you ever have a chance to get blessed by an elephant – DO IT!
I loved how people in McLeod Ganj could leave the jewelry and art work on their
street stands and nothing gets stolen.
I have truly learned to live in the present, with no expectations and very few needs (a
room, food, and one set of clothing – though 3 is nice). Though I am happy to be
going home, I am also happy to be here. And this, this is one of the things I most hope
to hold onto when I return home.
When you are truly content, everyone you meet is happy, too. The happiness just spreads
and spreads.
That the more you love, the more love you have to give. It is really quite amazing.
Sometimes one holds onto love as though you have to save it for the important
people in your life and that it could run out. But the truth is, the more you give, the
more you have. Especially when the giving is without ambition, pride, or self-
gratification. Here, it is easy because I don’t know anyone. It is easy to give to
everyone impartially. Now, I get to practice this at home.
It is utterly amazing what one person with a big heart, a wise idea, and a strong will
can accomplish – for generations and generations to come.
Art is essential – true art, that is free from the ego and expresses the greatness of
a people’s heart, mind, and soul, which is, if you trace its roots back, inevitably
linked to the divine.
I love small towns, and, I really don’t like shopping. Even here! Though, the fun of
shopping and getting to know people, coupled with the stupendously
beautiful things, and the excellent prices has overcome even my usual
antipathy to shopping.
I definitely think the drivers here are some of the bravest and craziest people in the
world.
I don’t really bargain very well.
I have a hard time being “posh” – but no one seems to mind.
I can easily be a vegetarian when the food is as good and varied as it is here.
Yes, it is dirty, but one can be healthy in India – very healthy.
One can never think that an opportunity given today will be there tomorrow.
One does not need to gather “experiences”. Rather, choose what is important
and go deeply.
Faces. So many beautiful faces and warm hearts. Strings and strings of people to pray
for, to love, to honor, to cherish. People who have given on themselves and
made me a better person.
I can look at the same scene from nature, especially in the mountains, day after day,
and never be bored.
A month of a simple life of going to 2 lectures, eating, and sleeping seems like a week.
Though part of me would love to be the hermit on the hill, I am living exactly where I
need to live and doing exactly what I need to do. I have the best possible life,
and I am prostrate with gratitude.
It is up to me to make this life matter – for myself and for others.
Be alive. Live each moment to the brim, which does not mean filling it with adventures,
sensual pleasures, and distractions. It means walking down a street, any street,
and noticing the beauty of a flower, the warmth of the sun, the hunger in your
stomach and the knowledge that there is food in the fridge. It means seeing
a person who is sad or self absorbed and wishing them well. It means
smiling, especially at key moments.
Ask the most important questions. Why am I here? What does it mean to be a
human? How can one truly live a life filled with wisdom, pure intent, perfect
speech, wholesome thoughts? How can I be better tomorrow than I am today?
Remember. Remember. Remember. Remember what was given, what you gave you
that special essence, that taste in your heart. For no one can take that away … except you.
5 months was not too long!!! It was perfect, for many of the lessons came after several months – right up to the last week. And it feels “right” to be coming home.
Finally, it is not what you see, but the essence of what it means and of the hearts of the
people it manifests.

The highlights?
Sitting on the top of Mount Arunachula, a thick layer of clouds below cover the
world and the sky is open above. Floating, and realizing how one can
love deeply and well, even when one is far away.
The Temple in Chidambaram.
Tiger tracks!
The concert in the jungle of Kerala.
Meeting Sarath’s family of doctors.
Being with 1000’s of monks and nuns in Bodhgaya.
Watching our bags bounce down the “streets” in Varanasi.
St. Thom’s Cathedral.
The Mediterranean streets of Cochin.
Violin concert in Cochin.
The face of the Jagadguru
Ananda Mai Ma’s ashram
Fatepur Sikr
Camel safari!!
Jaisalmar
Aleppy boats
The sites around Aurengabad
Studying and living at VKV
Hampi.
The Taj Mahal.
Khajuraho.
Tibetan food
Tibetan faces
Rinpoche, monks, nuns, lectures, and snow clad peaks – at every glance.
That, truly, there is no place like home – though some places run a close
second, especially for short periods of time.
It’s time to go home. The journey got better and better, deeper and deeper, and
now it is complete. It is right to go now. It is good. And though I have
been very “soft” here in the Himalayas, where the beauty of a sound or a
face or a scene can pierce me to tears (regularly – happy tears, lovely
tears), I am not crying now, even though I must leave.
I hope I can come back. I would start here in the Himalayas and go north. And yet, if it is not in my destiny to do so, that is all right. For we did this well.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The feeling of peace, love and gratitude came over me as I read your essay. Thank you.